Cloak & Dagger

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Childhood Movies

That semi-conscious pseudo-memory before high-school? Yeah it's from a movie from your childhood. Born '77 to '83 and it's somewhere below. An ultimate movie collection to spark and drive a child's imagination. God I miss endless reruns of Crocodile Dundee, Howard The Duck, and Short Circuit. I recently came across The Last Starfighter on TV, and it inspired me to create the definitive list of my childhood movies and my generation's.

Remember these...?

A Christmas Story
Absent Minded Professor
Adventures In Babysitting
Aladdin
Back to School
Back To The Future
Bad News Bears
Bambi
Bedknobs and Broomsticks
Bettlejuice
Beverly Hills Cop
Big
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
Blues Brothers
Breakfast Club
Breakin
Caddyshack
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Chipmunks/Chipettes Adventure
Cinderella
Clash of the Titans
Cloak & Dagger
Clue
Cocoon
Crocodile Dundee
Disney's Robin Hood
Disney's The Sword In The Stone
E.T.
Empire Strikes Back
Ernest Saves Christmas
Ferris Beullers Day Off
Flash Gordon
Fletch
Flight of the Navigator
Fox & The Hound
Fraggle Rock
Ghostbusters
Gleaming the Cube
Golden Child
Goonies
Grease
Gremlins
He-Man, Masters of the Universe
Herbie The Love Bug
Hoosiers
Howard The Duck
How The Grinch Stole Christmas
Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
Jaws
Karate Kid
King Solomon's Mines
Last Starfighter
Last Unicorn
Lethal Weapon
Little Shop of Horrors
Manaquin
Mary Poppins
Money Pit
National Lampoons Vacation (the Wally World one)
National Lampoons Christmas Vacation
Neverending Story
Outsiders
Overboard
Parent Trap
Pee Wee's Big Adventure
Phantom Tollbooth
Plains, Trains, and Automobiles
Pollyanna
Poltergeist
Princess Bride
Rad
Revenge Of The Nerds
Rocky
Rocky 4
Romancing the Stone
Roxanne
Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer (60's Claymation)
Shaggy Dog
Short Circuit
Sixteen Candles
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Space Balls
Space Camp
Spies Like Us
Splash
Stand By Me
Star Wars
Summer School
Superman I, II, III
Teen Wolf
Terminator
Three Amigos
Three Caballeros (Disney with Donald Duck)
Time Bandits
Top Gun
Trading Places
Tron
Troop Beverly Hills
War Games
Weekend At Bernie's
Weird Science
What About Bob
Wildcats
Willow
Young Guns

House Rules

2. Because the working lamp will make very high temperature, must put the lamp on a firm and flat place; and keep it free from be touched by any children and pets.

3. Keep the lamp away from directly sun shined and cooling vent, keep the working environment of room temperature 21-26 degree C, and the lamp will reward you a wonderful display.

6. Dont warm up the vessel by any other means, Dont cool down the vessel abnormally, Dont use the lamp when the vessel crazed.

7. After transportation and some other reasons, the liquid of the new lamp may be a little hazed, after several times of operation, it will become clear completely.

2. Every time before operating the lamp, please make sure the power cord has been well plugged, than turn on the switch; the lamp will need 2-3 hours to warm up the vessel, contained liquid and wax, then the colored wax will run and change its shape in the vessel as a Sprite.

Condescending Names List

"Hey buddy, what can I get you tonight?" Order. "Thanks buddy." Walks away. I'm not your buddy a-HOLE!!! Where do you go? You can't let him get away. "No problem captain." Moments like these inspired me to create the official condescending names list. Your opponent will be left a stuttering fool with this arsenal. And Maestro if I missed a good one let me know!

"Hey buckaroo, why don't you go ahead and uhhhh, give me some fries with that, 'k Jethro?"

"Oh hey slick, be a partner and help me out, would ya' Starsky?"

My Top 10:

1) Maestro

2) Slugger

3) Captain

4) Champ

5) Chief

6) Sherlock

7) Slick

8) Skywalker

9) Yoda

10) Jethro

Official List:

Amigo

Boss
Boy
Brewster
Bro
Broseph
Brother
Bub
Bubs
Buck
Buckaroo
Bucko
Bud
Buddy
Buffy
Captain
Captain Ahab
Casanova
Champ
Charlie
Charlie Brown
Chaunce
Chaz
Chief
Chuck
Clyde
Compadre
Cous. (Cuz)
Darryl
Dawg
DeNiro
Desperado
Doc
Don Juan
Einstein
Freckles
Goose
Gunner
Guy
Hollywood
Homes
Homey
Hooch
Hop-Along
Hoss
Huckleberry
Hutch
Ice (Iceman)
Jack

Jasper

Jethro

Jimbo
Joey
Johnny Appleseed
Junior (Jr.)
Kid
Killer
Kip
Little Lady
Maestro
Maverick (Mav)
Meat
Meathead
Pacino
Partner
Pig-Pen
Playa'
Ponch
Pops
Prince
Punchy
Richard
Roger
Sailor
Sally
Sarge' (Seargant)
Sherlock
Shooter
Skipper
Skywalker
Slappy
Slick
Slider
Slugger
Sly
Son
Sonny
Sport
Starsky
Sundance
Sweetie
Tiger
Tough Guy
Turbo
Wally
Wolfman
Yoda

Butlers

I want a butler so I can yell one of these names across the house obnoxiously.

Alexander

Alfred
Alistair
Anaxemander
Belvedere
Bensington
Benson
Bentley
Billingsly
Cadbury
Charles
Chauncey
Christoph
Consuelo
Edward
Estabon
Farnsworth
Felix
Ferdinand
Fergie
Fernando
Francis
Garrison
Garvey
Geoffrey
George
Harrison
Henry
Horace
Humberto
Humphrey
Igor
Jacque
James
Jameson
Jeeves
Jonathan
Joseph
Kensington
Le Roy
Louis
Manfred
Marcus
Milton
Monty
Morris
Oscar
Reginald
Richard
Robert
Rolando
Rolf
Sebastian
Simon
Smi (smee)
Smithers
Smitty
Stanley
Thomas
Victor
Wadsworth
William

Wedding Crasher Rules

By Decree Of Chazz Reingold

1 Never leave a fellow crasher behind. 2 Never use your real name. 3 Never confess. 4 No one goes home alone. 5 Never let a girl get between you and a fellow crasher. 6 Do not sit in the corner and sulk. It draws attention in a negative way. Draw attention to yourself, but on your own terms. 7 Blend in by standing out. 8 Be the life of the party. 9 Whatever it takes to get in, get in 10 Invitations are for pussies. 11 Sensitive is good. 12 When it stops being fun, break something. 13 Bridesmaids are desperate - console them. 14 You're a distant relative of a dead cousin. 15 Fight the urge to tell the truth. 16 Always have an up-to-date family tree. 17 Every female wedding guest deserves a wedding night. 18 You love animals and children. 19 Toast in the native language if you know the native language and have practiced the toast. Do not wing it. 20 The older the better, the younger the better. (See rule below) 21 Definitely make sure she's 18. 22 You have a wedding and a reception to seal the deal. Period. No overtime. 23 There's nothing wrong with having seconds. Provided there's enough women to go around. 24 If you get outted, leave calmly. Do not run. 25 You understand she heard that but that's not what you meant. 26 Of course you love her. 27 Don't over drink. The machinery must work in order to close. 28 Make sure there's an open bar. 29 Always be a team player. Everyone needs a little help now and again. 30 Know the playbook so you can call an audible. 31 If you call an audible, always make sure your fellow crashers know. 32 Don't commit to a relative unless you're absolutely sure that they have a pulse. 33 Never go back to your place. 34 Be gone by sunrise. 35 Breakfast is for closers. 36 Your favorite movie is "The English Patient." 37 At the reception, one hard drink or two beers max. A drunk crasher is a sloppy crasher. 38 Never hit on the bride! It's a one-way ticket to the pavement. 39 The way to a woman's bed is through the dance floor. 40 Dance with old folks and the kids. The girls will think that you're "sweet." 41 Try not to break anything, unless you're not having fun. 42 At the service, sit in the fifth row. It's close enough to the wedding party to seem like you're an invited guest. Never sit in the back. The back row just smells like crashing. 43 Create an air of mystery that involves some painful experience when interacting with the girl you're after. But don't talk about it. Allude to it. Then walk away. She'll follow. 44 Always remember your fake name! 45 The Rules of Wedding Crashers are sacred. Don't sully them by "improvising." 46 You forgot your invitation in your rush to get to the church. 47 Make sure all the single women at the wedding know you're there because you've just suffered either a terrible breakup or the death of your fiance. 48 Always work the following into a conversation: Yeah, I have tons of money. But how does one buy happiness? 49 Be pensive! It draws out the "healer" in women. 50 Always pull out in time. 51 Tell any woman you're interested in that you'd love to stay but you promised to help out at the homeless shelter today. 52 Get choked up during the service.The girls will think you're "sensitive." Bring a slice of onion or artificial tears if necessary. 53 Avoid virgins. They're too clingy. 54 If pressed, tell people you're related to Uncle Ned. Everyone has an Uncle Ned. 55 Don't fixate on one woman. ALWAYS have a back-up. 56 When seeing a rival crasher, do not interact- merely acknowledge each other with a tug on the earlobe and gracefully move on. 57 The Ferrari's in the shop. 58 If two rival crashers pick the same girl, the crasher with the least seniority will respectfully yield. 59 No "chicken dancing" - no exceptions. 60 When crashing out of state, request permission from a local Wedding Crasher chapter. 61 No more than two weddings a weekend. More and your game gets sloppy. 62 Bring an extra umbrella when it rains. Courtesy opens more legs than charm. 63 Always save room for cake. 64 When your crash partner fails, you fail. No man is an island. 65 Smile! You're having the time of your life. 66 Mix it up a little - you can't always be the man with the haunted past. 67 No sex on the altar. Confessionals okay. Choir lofts, better. 68 Two shut-outs in a row? It's time to take a week off. Ask yourself: what is getting in the way of my hapiness? 69 Research, research, research the wedding party. And when you are done researching, research some more. 70 Studies show women have a more developed sese of smell. Breath mints-small cost, big yield. 71 No excuses. Play like a champion! 72 In case of emergency, refer to the playbook. 73 Girls in hats tend to be proper and rarely give it up. 74 Keep interactions with the parents of the bride to a minimum. 75 Carry extra protection. 76 The unmarried female rabbbi- Is she fair game? Of course she is. 77 The tables farthest from the kitchen always gets served dinner first. 78 Stop, look, listen. At weddings. In life. 79 Occasionally bring a real gift - you're getting sex without having to buy dinner, you can afford a blender. 80 Always think ahead but always stay in the moment. Reconcile this paradox and you'll not only get the girl, you might also get peace of mind. 81 Don't let the ring bearer bum your smokes. His parents may start asking questions. 82 Stay clear of the wedding planner. They may recognize you and start to wonder. 83 Don't use the " I have two months to live bit" - not cool, not effective. 84 Shoes say a lot about a man. 85 Always choose large weddings. More choice. Easier to blend. 86 You're from out of town. ALWAYS. 87 Know something about the place you say you are from. Texas is played out. For some reason, New Hampshire seems to work. 88 Of course you dream of one day having children. 89 Never dance to "What I Like About You." It's long past time to let that song go. Someone will request it at every weding. Don't dance to it. No matter how hot she is. 90 Tell the bride's friends and family, you are family of the groom and vice-versa. 91 Only take one car. You never know when you'll need to make a fast escape. 92 Deep down, most people hate themselves. This knowledge is the key to most bedroom doors. 93 Try not to show off on the dance floor. That means you Jeremy. 94 Etiquette isn't old-fashioned, it's sexy. 95 Catholic weddings-- the classic dilemma: painfully long ceremony - horny girls. 96 The newspaper Wedding Announcements are your racing form. Choose carefully. 97 Be judiciious with cologne. Citrus tones are best. 98 Save the tuxes for "the big show" only. 99 Avoid women who were psychology majors in college. 100 No periwinkle colored ties, please. 101 Always have an early "appointment" the next morning. 102 Be well-groomed and well-mannered. 103 Never cockblock a fellow crasher. Cockblocking an invited guest - okay. 104 Eat plentiful, digest your food. You'll need the energy for later. 105 Know when to abandon ship if it ain't floating. 106 Know your swing and salsa dancing. Gilrs love to get twisted around. 107 Always carry an assortment of different placecards to match any wedding design. 108 Make sure your magic trick and balloonanimal skills are not rusty. If the kids love it, the girls will too. 109 Never, ever reveal your true identity. 110 Never walk away from a crasher in a funny jacket. 111 By decree of Chazz Reingold, Creator of the Rules of Wedding Crashing, revised from 1989 in October 2004, the following bits of slang are no longer acceptable: "It's all good," "hey, no worries," and any sentence that involves anyone getting "their freak on."

Rock & Roll Kids 2

Rock & Roll Kids 2

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The Beastie Boys

1st Album Released 1982: Pollywog Stew

Adam Yauch (MCA) 18 - b. August 5, 1964

Michael Diamond (Mike D) 17 - b. Nov. 20, 1965

Kate Shellenbach (drums) - Who Cares

John Berry (guitar) - Ibid.

*MCA and Mike D formed the Beastie's in '79, and started as an N.Y. hardcore punk band in '81 with Shellenbach and Berry on drums and guitar respectively. Pollywog Stew had 8 tracks, was released on an indie label, pretty much sucked shit and flopped, and demonstrated little musical talent. In '83 Shellenbach and Berry left the band. Good thing though, 'cause that's when King Ad-Rock joined, and the Beastie's released their second short EP, Cookie Puss which marked their adoption of rap. Throughout '83-'85, their sound evolved and morphed into what would come to be the material of the '86 masterpiece Licensed to Ill, which most everyone mistakenly believes to be the first album.

**Age at Release of Licensed to Ill, released early 1986

21 MCA

20 Mike D

19 Adam Horovitz (King Ad-Rock) b. Oct. 31, 1966

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Red Hot Chili Peppers

1st Album Released Aug. 10, 1983: Red Hot Chili Peppers

Michael Balzary (Flea) 21 b. - Oct. 16, 1962

Anthony Kiedis 21 b. - Nov. 1, 1962

Jack Sherman Unknown / No One Cares
Cliff Stewart Unknown / No One Cares

* In 1983 four Fairfax high-school friends of Los Angeles CA-- Anthony Kiedis, Michael Balzary (Flea), Hillel Slovak, and Jack Irons got together to play one show. They called themselves Tony Flow and The Miraculously Majestic Masters of Mayhem. The band continued past the initial performance changing their name to the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Prior to recording a debut album however-- Hillel and Jack left the band committing to their other group What Is This? (Yes you read that correctly, that was their band name). Anthony and Michael (at that point now going by Flea) recruited Jack Sherman and Cliff Stewart on guitar and drums respectively. The first album was released to little success causing Jack Sherman to leave the band, replaced by founding member and best friend Hillel Slovak in '85 on guitar. Shortly after the second album in '85, Cliff Stewart left the band, replaced by the other founding member Jack Irons on drums in '86. The four founding members recorded 1 album together before Hillel Slovak died of a heroin overdose on June 27, 1988. The pain of the loss caused Jack Irons to quit in '88-- Jack would go on to join Pearl Jam 6 years later in '94.

Carrying on the Chili's after Hillel's death, Anthony and Flea were again forced to find a new guitarist and drummer. John Frusciante had jammed with Flea, become friends, and was a huge fan of the band. He was recruited in 1988 and said of it: "They were my favorite band in the world. I knew every lyric, every guitar part, every solo, and bass part, and had always felt their music to be a source of peace and beauty in my life. I always felt very spiritually and philosophically connected with the band's ideals and way of life. The moment I joined the band was probably the most intense rush of pure happiness I will ever experience in my life." On drums they recruited Chad Smith. Frusciante left the band in '92 due to drug addiction, replaced briefly by Arik Marshall, and then formally by Dave Navarro of Janes Addiction in '93. After 4 years with Navarro, Frusciante was brought back in '98, and has been with them since.

Chad Smith b. Oct. 25, 1961

Hillel Slovak b. Apr. 16, 1962

Jack Irons b. July 18, 1962

Dave Navarro b. June 7, 1967

John Frusciante b. March 5, 1970

Arik Marshall - No one cares.

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Alice In Chains

1st Album Released Aug. 1990: Facelift

Jerry Cantrell 24 - b. March 18, 1966

Mike Starr 24 - b. April 4, 1966

Sean Kinney 24 - b. May 27, 1966

Layne Staley *22 - b. August 22, 1967

*Mike Inez replaced Mike Starr on bass in January 1993

**Staley could have just turned 23 before the release, however since the exact release day is unknown the best guess is that he was still 22 at the time.

Mike Inez b. May 14, 1966

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Pearl Jam

1st Album Released August 27, 1991: (1st) Ten

Jeff Ament 28 - b. March 10, 1963

Eddie Vedder 26 - b. Dec. 23, 1964

Dave Krusen 25 - b. March 10, 1966

Mike McCready 25 - b. April 5, 1966

Stone Gossard 25 - b. July 20, 1966<>

*Before Pearl Jam Stone Gossard and Jeff Ament played together in Mother Love Bone. They founded Pearl Jam after the lead singer died of a heroin overdose. Gossard's and Ament's first addition after the dissolve of Mother Love Bone was Mike McCready out of a band called Shadow. The three of them in search of a drummer gave some demos to Jack Irons formerly a founding member and drummer of the Red Hot Chili Peppers to see if he wanted to join. Irons declined but passed the demos to his good friend Eddie Vedder of San Diego. Legend has it that Eddie wrote lyrics for those demos while surfing in San Diego, and recorded himself singing over what would become Alive, Once, and Footsteps. Upon sending the new demos with vocals back up to Seattle, the core of Pearl Jam was born. The final piece was Dave Krusen added to drums, and what followed was one of the greatest 1st albums in rock history: Ten. Dave Krusen left the band shortly before the release of Ten in '91, and was replaced by Matt Chamberlain briefly (he's in the Alive video), but more formally by Dave Abbruzzese. Abbruzzese left the band in '94, replaced by Jack Irons (of the Chili's), and in '98 Irons left the band replaced by Matt Cameron formerly of Soundgarden. That's 5 drummers over a now 16 year span, kind of like Spinal Tap.

Jack Irons b. July 18, 1962

Matt Cameron b. Nov. 28, 1962

Dave Abbruzesse b. May 17, 1968

Matt Chamberlain b. Unknown

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Beck

1st Album Released March 1994: Mellow Gold

Beck Hansen 23 - b. July 8, 1970

*Beck was born Beck Campbell. His father abandoned him and his family, leading Beck to drop his father's name. He adopted his mother's maiden name Hansen. Mellow Gold was made with $200.

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***Some band member's information was not found or not looked up. This occurs in instances where their appearance on the album is not of much interest. For example, it happens where no one cares which session musicians who were never part of the band played with certain solo artists, e.g. David Bowie's first album. It also happens where I just couldn't find it, due to obscurity e.g., Dave Evans from AC/DC.

As the research was done quickly from the Internet, as well as my subtracting birthdays from release dates to determine age, it is error prone. But I believe the sources are generally reliable and that I can do simple math. Feel free to e-mail me info of bands to add to the master list, or with corrections. Enjoy.

WORK IN PROGRESS:

The Doors: 1967

Jim MorrisonDec. 8, 1943

Big Brother and the Holding Company

Janis JoplinJan. 19,1943

Barry GibbSept.1, 1947

Maurice GibbDec.22, 1949

Robin GibbDec.22, 1949

Sex Pistols 1st

Metallica

Lynyrd Skynyrd

Billy Joel

Allman Brothers

Police-Outlandos DAmour 1st

Boston-Boston 1st

Yes

Phish

Bob Marley

Pink Floyd

Van Halen

Black Sabbath

Nirvana-Nevermind note I hate Nirvana

Cream

The Jam

Elvis

Tom Petty

P-Funk Allstars

Nick Drake

U2

Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young

INXS

Michael Jackson

Jethro Tull

Kinks

Elton John

Dave Matthews

Madonna

Steve Miller Band

Alanis Morrisette

Queen

Rage Against The Machine (1st)

Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band

Joe Cocker

ZZ Top

Jeff Beck

Black Crowes

Elvis Costello

Creedence Clearwater Revival

Eagles

Emerson Lake & Palmer

Guns & Roses

Marvin Gaye

Santana

Joe Satriani

Soundgarden

Simon & Garfunkel

Sublime

Stevie Ray Vaughan

Violent Femmes 1st

Velvet Underground

BB King

John Lee Hooker

Muddy Waters

Chuck Berry

The Grateful Dead

The Band